its been a while since i blogged. alot of things have happened but to be honest they are things i can tell you easily and are not really blog worthy. i could tell you about how i went to chennai (about 6hr drive) to a music and surf festival on the beach. I could tell you how i had my first experiences with dealing with someone who has bipolar. I could tell you about how i went to Auroville - a self sustaining suburb (which has a cult-like feel). I could tell you about how our car broke down on the highway and that we needed to be towed all the way home making the drive back to bangalore over 14hrs. I could tell you how i and the 2 other volunteers here have this stomach bug for a few days now and that we all fight for the toilet. But no, this blog is going to be a bit different. You see, a blog is meant to be a place where you just pour out; a place where you pour out thoughts, feelings, emotions etc. I dont know if i’ve done a good job of that of late but this one i just need to write down as a blog to get it out of my head. This blog is all about what i observed at a particular event - and as my social work lecturer taught me thats the role of a social worker - to ask questions.
This blog is about me attending the wedding of roja and Krishna. Roja is a 19yo girl who works and lives here. She has such a bubbly personality, a great smile, always happy and a hard worker. Many a times we would chat or she would teach me how to cook or teach me telugu, and she’s always smiling and laughing (whether at me or with me im not too sure). She even recently would hide behind the kitchen door and scare us as we walked through.
Yet, today was Roja's wedding day. A big day and a dream come true for all people im sure. Yet, this just didnt seem to be the case today. What happened to that sweet young girl with her ever- glistening smile and joy that shone from her presence? it just seemed to have disappeared today. You see, Roja's marriage was an arranged marriage. She met her husband 3 times before marrying him. He is 10 years older than her and i dont think they’ve actually talked to each other before - his family were interviewing her when i saw them together once.
We drove 2 and half hours from home to see the wedding ceremony (which we missed because of our lateness in leaving, but we still got to be involved in the hindu blessing rituals) and in my mind i pictured young Roja to be so happy, this was her big day. But all i saw was something like sadness in her eyes, almost like she was lost. There was no smile, no happiness, just a girl standing there with her husband being mobbed with much aesthetic materials from all the people surrounding them.
And so i thought to myself maybe its just me thinking these thoughts so i raised them at the dinner table tonight, but no, i wasnt alone, others felt it too. You could just see it in her eyes today that something wasnt right. Cait raised a good possibility that perhaps its because the dream has finally become a reality, and that the dream looked better. In addition i have other reasons; 1. that we were so far from home that she felt like an alien in the crowd - her home and family is here. Yet, my second thinking is that reality has hit her that she is no longer a teenager but an adult, a wife. See, the moments i interacted with her, she was a teenager - she would scare us, she would laugh and she would always interact with her adopted brothers here (she would punch them etc). Yet i think as Cait said reality has kicked in and she is no longer a teenager. She now has a husband - who she probs doesnt even know, and she has to take care of him. And who knows, the guy might be a great guy, i dont know. Seems to be a track record here of men leaving women here however. But this i do know, that Roja is a sweet young girl - always laughing, smiling, always cheerful, yet, something just didnt seem right today and it truly breaks my heart.
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